This is gonna be a weird one

As if you hadn't thought we'd been weird enough, we started getting uhhn-y on you, and you know what that means, the ole swingaroo-one-two maneuver eh? Moving forward, we find ourselves lost in the same place in which we sometimes find ourselves found at home. It is a peculiar thing this de-navigation that hath taken a turn on us unlucky souls as of late. By God, I've gotta say, it's damn fucking unbelievable ya goddamn asshole. 

For those of you who were waiting for a hilarious profane joke, I didn't really have one but those words always seem funny to me, you fucking asshole. So I used 'em, what of it, eh? Gonna sue me? Do you even have money for a lawyer? Are you even qualified to sue I mean who in Gandhi's rectum do you imagine you are to have such power? How could you even fathom. The thought astounds me. Me: analogous to: astounded. I think that's probably not how those analogy symbols work but honestly you have two buttholes so I think that also settles one thing or another. The unsettled matter, of course, is us being horribly, terrifyingly lost. It's like a horror story coming to life: the place you inhabit suddenly becomes surrounded by loud noises and your body intruded upon by strange substances and all outta nowhere some "people" enter your space and you're all like WHOA man, thaaaaat's my space. Some people respect that and some people fucking don'T MAN! Obviously there hasn't been enough publication of the Rules of Everything...I don't think people are really learning. I'll list a few of the gems here, in case you schmucks want to learn a little while you're murdering brain cells (it's contagious, right? Through words, right?):

1. If you see someone's got a space going on, don't assume to be able to effect your space on that space, man; that ain't cool.

2. If we're all making a huge fucking breakfast and you get assigned to make pancakes, be sure to tell everyone you don't know how to cook them before you goddamn cook them, like an asshole, Brad.

3. Puppies are cute and cats are cute - those are both true statements that don't have to conflict with each other. Yeah this is a rule.

And so on and so forth. You get the big picture, right? It's all about savin' ya sins. Our Lord and Saviuh, gosh darnit. He's the Big Picture alright. By golly we're about outta time folks, it looks like dumb's too dumb to dumb. 

Hasta luego,

Moi