Just Words are just words

Tis a pleasure to make your aquaintance and welcome to the continuing story of feeble-mindedness and scientific inquiry! And what a story it is! We left our hero at home, so instead we'll use this pencil - look at it! - So this pencil is, uh, makin an omlet. For the king of science. And he's struggling, what with his not having arms and all, (plus he aint the sharpest one in the box! [that's Ted.]) but he suddenly realizes he was a cactus hallucinating he was a pencil the whole time! Now here's where it gets really confusing.

The, pencil that it be, was, as it were, no longer inside the cactus - how could it? For the jam jar certainly wasn't a pine tree! Four times, I checked if it could be, but alack! Indeed, who could say, in such a decisive manner, that the cactus, instead, was apart (or, perhaps, a part) of the pencil? Certainly not I! Pursuasive as it may be to think such a thing given the facts, the facts, as I have called them -as I have seen them - have been neither by "not me". You, being not me, are clearly included as "not me," and heterofore ought to have used a tad bit more discretion in your appearantly blind acceptance of the unknown! For shame!

THE END... --~..~

Wow, wasn't that a powerful tale? It's based on a true story, you know. You know you scamp! Don't gimme that look! I don't even want it. Seriously though, you keep it.

When enough's not enough,
I'll be there

Anti-Semantic Banter within Barrington

You earned it, jackanape!
It's about time we fessed up here at Primo Kebab: Pretty Tommy Noble. We've strung you, our devout readerships, along a severely incoherent sequence of excerpts that seem to bear little to no meaning or worth. However, that is the meaning, so ya done. It's all coming back now, there's nothing you can do to stop it! Nyahaaaah! Fear me, or fare ye not too well in the futuroo, eh hneh hyoo?

Now that we can all agree on the fact that there is, indeed, as the studies hath showethen, a walrus involved in a hippopotamus scheme (the whereabouts of which are currently still yet unknown to mankind as of today yesterday) against the fabric of what always and forever will be Steve forces (read: Steve's forces - an elite group of wildebeest trained in social activism), there's a lot on our plate! The collective plate of unifying consciousness, Kay? Em? EN?

En inglEs, por favor.

Steve,
Forces ever!

Whose shoes are these?!

They're certainly not mine; at least i dont think so. Shoes? Nooo way, boss. Not me, no way, no how, not neva. But alack! "Not mine" isn't a specific enough definition! So the answer, my friends, remain ambiguous. Fuckin' ambiguity! The bane of our need to know all the shit about everything! But I say why know when you can not! Heavy stuff, I know, but bear with me. Rawr! Fuckin salmon and honey! Yeah! Anyway, I mean to say what I already said. So if you don't get it, that's the point! Ya gaddarmnied carmurblik!

Look at this! What is this?! It's the plight of a generation! People are being pulled apart by horses in the streets! Don't believe me? Well fuck you! I say what goes on! So anyway, pulled apart by horses! The most pressing moral issue in the world today! Some say it's cruel and unusual punishment; some don't. Either way, both sides have a compelling argument. So the problem continues! To plague over our entire society. In the literal sense. Bodaba bwahdabwahbwaow!

In the interest of time,
I Left the Change on the Counter.
Yours,
Welcome

Dating with Aged Relatives

So you wanna date a rock, eh. Like 65 million years old kinda rock, ya gramma ya great auntie what have you be it so, move it Capitan. It's not exactly accepted by the society gremlins (I call them "people with convictions", or "pieces of shit", for short) so you'll have to keep it sneaky, get it? Yo got me? Shall it continue? Are we tightly embraced as if on the peak o' the Eiffel Tower on a romantic outing with an elderly relative? No, fuck that bucket of bison-puke, we're on the Space Needle with cocaine-covered shnozzes and thousands of purple flowers in our hair, get on The Level why dontcha. I'm in a super position right now, and I'd like to share it! But you gotta give me something in return that's just how it woiks you goddamn fooligan. Fool me again. Heh, noooo way no cow get outta here. Give me some flowers or a milkshake or some shit. Real classy. Shall the salsa go on folks? Slow my roll if it shan't, really, I insist, who are you kidding, get the fuck offa me, d.

You gotta be sneaky, alright. That's all I'm saying. I know I've said a lot of fucked up shit in my life but it's really all been about that central claim: sneakiness - key. Key baby. Key to my heart, unlock it with love you dirty schmuck (may he rest in peace). Not gonna try to be jocular here, bisons. No-no ain't nobody going to like it if you go down that dark path -- and Believe Me, You -- shiiiiit's dark. But when you have a button to press, it demands pressure. Press away me lovelies. Send it to the Press. aweounacwdivunaiweurf AWEORIAN DFJFIIII XNIEME Iznugi. thuiodddd. czxciu erthu anjkoi dfah.

And you can quote me on that last bit; the rest was nonsense.

- The Glass Man