It's amazing, people, how your name has so much importance. It's how you identify yourself to everyone you meet and even to people who meet you. But names are just words! They're just made-up things that come from other made up things til you get back to fuckin' monkey makin' chimp sounds and then dinosaurs rawrin' and shit and then to the first sound any animal ever made! It was probably like a "YYRRRRZERRRTTZKKK" or something, I dunno. Do you? So yeah, basically names are just organized nonsense but also at the same time they're you. It's kinda a mixed bag. We all know that type of bag, eh? You think you're all special? Qua qua qua mothafucka? That's right. Don't question it ANY more.
So back to the idea of coincidences. Do you believe in coincidence? Like as a spiritual deity. Do you believe in the one holy coincidence, who art in Coincidence Land oh I don't know what the shit, in thy name and all the shtuff? Well, I think it's safe to say that if you're not sure how to answer that question, you're probably going to burn in predetermination with the furies of a thousand tulips on a really muggy spring afternoon (that shit dank yo!). Coincidence? I think not! But really doe: how's that even a thing? Why for the love of my beloved Gandhi's rectum would you ever say "I think not"? Like more like "I not think", byatch. Or maybe I meant "Think not". OH the times. How they swish and sway the things we think we meant in our sloshy swishy brains.
Always wrap it up brothas, I gotta say. Even if you want a kid, wrap it up cuz trust me ya'll don't want kidz yo they're fuckkkkk'd up. Or maybe you do. I don't know you and you don't know me and that's the way it should happen! Surely you agree! Anywhoo, leave with peace my loyal disciples! Do not weep at our exit, rejoice as we saunter yonder!
The REAL Guardians of Ga'hoole
10 December 2012
04 December 2012
Gawd it feels good to be back
Back to all my loyal fans and admirers! I know you've missed the little twinkle of light we provide in your otherwise cloudy, sad day. But enough, I shouldn't remind you of those dark times in your lives. On to darker topics, we believe our poor Schmuck has passed on, if you will. It would seem that instead of building a passage into a new life, he made his own coffin. That's some fucked up shit, man. Sadness.
Usually sadness is a downward sloping spiral, so let's lighten the mood. A joke, perhaps? No? Okay, here's an idea for a children's television show: it's called Kid & Kid, P.I. It's a cartoon about these two detectives: one of them is an elderly goat called "the Kid", in an ironic way, and the other is an actual human child. Also, they're psychic. That's the tagline! Check it out on Cartoon Network next season motha' fuckaaaaaaas! But yeah, it's added to the growing queue of creative projects and whatnot we've been meaning to get. That being the collection including such great hits as "The Monk Show", a popular comedy show revolving around a wild temp worker filling in at a Buddhist monastery (boy o boy, I don't even need to tell you about the crazy antics that ensue), and "Caution Wet Floor: A Script", an independent film shot entirely in separate, individualized visual interpretations of the art itself, maaan. Any of these works may or may not actually come to fruition, but in any case they're awesome.
The Way of the Schmuck is the Way of the Armadillo - wait, no, scratch that. Scratch it off. It's the Way of the Universe. Yeah, Way of the Schmuck, Way of the Universe, yadda yadda, bing, baddaboom, boom. And from that, I think we can really divine the answer to everything. It all started with Schmuck, I suppose... it's true! From Schmuck cometh everything. And then there's a big convoluted other thing that gets you to the other side, the Universe bit, it's a whole eh, thing, like uhh ah it's such a fucked up thing, oh my Holy Teapot it's so horrible, Gahd, it's this whole twisted, sick, ah you don't even want to know. Jesus H. Butthole it's terrifying. On His toilet o' thorns. King of the Poos. Wow, oh kay so that one's done.
Sounds are so fucking awesome! How did we make them mean things though, ya know? Like if I were saying this to you, your ears would totally get what my sounds and tones mean. I don't even understand how that works. And also, musical sounds can make emotions out of basically nothing. It's basically God's greatest gift to His most beloved creation who He, in his almighty glory, literally killed himself and his son as one so He could forgive it. I'm talking, of course, about dolphins. They're like the goddamn masters of sound.
It seems that this post has wrapped itself up quite nicely. Or maybe I mean not at all.
Either way,
hugz n' kayz
Your friendly neighborhood guys
Usually sadness is a downward sloping spiral, so let's lighten the mood. A joke, perhaps? No? Okay, here's an idea for a children's television show: it's called Kid & Kid, P.I. It's a cartoon about these two detectives: one of them is an elderly goat called "the Kid", in an ironic way, and the other is an actual human child. Also, they're psychic. That's the tagline! Check it out on Cartoon Network next season motha' fuckaaaaaaas! But yeah, it's added to the growing queue of creative projects and whatnot we've been meaning to get. That being the collection including such great hits as "The Monk Show", a popular comedy show revolving around a wild temp worker filling in at a Buddhist monastery (boy o boy, I don't even need to tell you about the crazy antics that ensue), and "Caution Wet Floor: A Script", an independent film shot entirely in separate, individualized visual interpretations of the art itself, maaan. Any of these works may or may not actually come to fruition, but in any case they're awesome.
The Way of the Schmuck is the Way of the Armadillo - wait, no, scratch that. Scratch it off. It's the Way of the Universe. Yeah, Way of the Schmuck, Way of the Universe, yadda yadda, bing, baddaboom, boom. And from that, I think we can really divine the answer to everything. It all started with Schmuck, I suppose... it's true! From Schmuck cometh everything. And then there's a big convoluted other thing that gets you to the other side, the Universe bit, it's a whole eh, thing, like uhh ah it's such a fucked up thing, oh my Holy Teapot it's so horrible, Gahd, it's this whole twisted, sick, ah you don't even want to know. Jesus H. Butthole it's terrifying. On His toilet o' thorns. King of the Poos. Wow, oh kay so that one's done.
Sounds are so fucking awesome! How did we make them mean things though, ya know? Like if I were saying this to you, your ears would totally get what my sounds and tones mean. I don't even understand how that works. And also, musical sounds can make emotions out of basically nothing. It's basically God's greatest gift to His most beloved creation who He, in his almighty glory, literally killed himself and his son as one so He could forgive it. I'm talking, of course, about dolphins. They're like the goddamn masters of sound.
It seems that this post has wrapped itself up quite nicely. Or maybe I mean not at all.
Either way,
hugz n' kayz
Your friendly neighborhood guys
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