Ask a question and then answer it. What is the meaning of life? (bum bum buuuuuuuuuuuuuum) and Describe the terror of the soft cheese as the cheese knife approacheth.

                What a touted question. People make this one thing into such a huge deal. It’s so important, people spend they’re whole life just trying to find out why they’re living it! Seems kinda silly to me, doncha think? Why would life have a meaning of its own? Life’s just chilling, man, it’s not driven by anything! There’s no guy anywhere running the Life Inc. ™ corporation and we’re all his employees out to spend our hard earned life on his wishes. I waited literally billions of years to get this one tiny little life and now I’m supposed to just hop along with whatever it means? Screw that! But thank Glob and Randy Newman that’s not how this shindig works. Life on its own doesn’t mean anything more than a book without a writer. It’s fuckin blank, man. I like to think of life as like a huge bowl and I at the meaning buffet just pickin out all the goodin’s like enjoying the incredibly short moment I get to have sentience (before I go back to being food for some of life’s least appetizing creatures!) instead of some of the crazier ones like giving all glory to the hypnotoad. I tried it once. Not as fun as you might expect, but a great group of people. We used to have knitting club on Thursday nights and gab about all juicy gossip of who gave how much glory and the hypnotoad’s need for more, but I digress. See the beauty of the meaning of life is you get to make it as you go along so worrying about what “the meaning of life is” is the meaning of life! Well can be. But it can be anything else! And as long as it doesn’t too harshly impact the other peeps on Earth’s face I’m totally cool wit dat! As for me, I’m just coastin through tryin to soak up all the great time and get the most outta life experientially and creatively. And to glorify the hypnotoad. In all his immense glory.

The soft cheese fears not the fast approaching knife, for the soft cheese has known its fate all along and thus has had much time to contemplate and accept its impending doom. The soft cheese, henceforth referred to as Gary, had lived a full life. He laughed with friends, enjoyed wine tastings, even went to the moon! Gary had seen all he wanted to see and done all he wanted to do. At his age, Gary was already approaching stage 3 mold and didn’t have much longer to live. In an act of selflessness and a testament to Gary’s love for others, he donated his own flesh to feed starving children all around the world. Gary has achieved the inner peace he had longed to reach as a younger wedge and, having completed his list of life goals written in the 4^th grade (ranging from eating ice cream for dinner to wrestling in a tag team match with Lou Ferrigno against the Nature Boy Ric Flair and Elisabeth the Queen of England), faced his death with the same determined smile he wore every day of his life. Gary was an inspiration to us all.